Tomorrow, bright and early in the morning, I'll be hopping a bus all the way up to Everett Station, and then biking from there to Sudden Valley, on my way up to Vancouver, a preparatory adventure for my bigger one down the coast. Truth be told? I'm more nervous than excited. My body doesn't feel ready. I still have my trailer on base, so I'm biking with a backpack, and while I've done everything I can to keep it light, that's still going to be hard on my back and I know it. And worst of all, despite all my silly sentimentality I expressed in my last post, right now I'm regretting the money I put into Black Beauty and wish I had bought another bike and sold her instead. Sometimes I forget how harmful sentimentalism usually is.
...But it's been done, and I'm going to stand by my decision and ride her as far as she can take me. I'm cheap, with a cheap bike and cheap equipment, and endeavoring despite that is part of my personal challenge in this. It's what tends to impress other bicyclists after all, not my trip in general, but that I did it on such a crappy bike.
I think right now I'm finally starting to move into the third stage of obstacle hurdling. First there's denial, then there's despair, and then there's rage mode. That's the point where everything impractical, difficult, and even painful be damned, I'm determined to power through. I've got the will. The confidence and ability will follow with time. I just need to get back on my bike and ride.
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